Booty Overload

A new tip for web video producers! I know you’re just dying for my advice.

This is important. Especially if you’re following our first tip - Find the flirt. So I’m going to stress this.

Please, please, for God’s sake, please shoot the face. Even if just for a second, get the face in the shot. Yes, her boobs are nice. So’s her booty. Yes, I want to see it all in motion. But so many women do such hot things with their faces that it’s a sin to avoid shooting it. So please frame just a little more than the boobs or the booty.

Seriously - look at this girl. Her eyes do more to turn me on than her boobs - and her boobs do a whole damn lot.

A lot of people tend to think of adult film as being an easy job. And you’ve got to admit, the perks are great. Lots of sex. Good money - particularly if you’re of the female persuasion. But nobody ever focuses on what makes working in adult film difficult. The constant worrying about weight and age. The psychological effects of actually having sex as an industry rather than for love, procreation, or fun. The people who generally treat you like meat. And the fact that you are constantly on call to be on display if you wish to continue working in the industry.

Take this attractive young woman posing for pictures at the AVN. In all honesty, she would probably rather be walking around, enjoying the Expo. She might prefer to be hitting the town on a shopping spree. Or she might prefer just to be at home, relaxing with a cosmo by the pool. But here she is, smiling and flaunting for the cameras.

Porn stars. Unsung heroes of the American dream.

Somewhere, Bob Saget is crying out in pain and sorrow. “Why?” he’s declaring to the heavens. “Why? Why did I spend all those years on America’s Funniest Home Videos watching people’s stupid cats fall off their stupid televisions? Why couldn’t they send me amateur strippers falling off of tables?”

Why, indeed?

Remember the girl with the video that was a series of still shots? And how I didn’t understand why?

Here’s a video of the same girl riding along in a car over a bumpy road. Check out the jiggle action.

Now - was it so difficult to actually post a video?

When I go looking for video, it’s because I want motion. I want to see movement. Shaking. Jiggling. If the motion doesn’t matter, I’m perfectly happy to browse picture galleries. I’m not completely video-centric. Anybody who has ever seen any of Priya Rai’s galleries will have difficulty being anti-photo. I mean, damn.

So answer me this. Why do people stick still pictures together into videos? You want to share your gorgeous, all-natural DDD tits with the world, I am totally down with that. But if still photos are what you’ve got, why not just put up a gallery?